


Kintsugi

by Ikira



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alive!Tadashi, Brosnuggles, Firmly in denial about Tadashi, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped by Hydra AU, Panic Attacks, Tadashi might be a little messed up by all this, avengers to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 16:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2780711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikira/pseuds/Ikira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tadashi didn't die in the fire. No, he was 'rescued' by the lovely HYDRA organization to be forced into working on their latest weapon for the past year. Thankfully a real rescue is on its way courtesy of the Avengers, but even so Tadashi won't quite make it out unscathed. A year is a long time to be in the care of HYDRA, and Tadashi isn't going to be the same when it's over. Not without a little help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kintsugi

**Author's Note:**

> One of the MANY AU's I've thought of where Tadashi survives, because I am happily living in denial and no one will stop me. Not to mention, BH6 is a Marvel franchise, SOMEONE has to introduce these two groups together.
> 
> Title is from the word for the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with gold. "As a philosophy it speaks to breakage and repair becoming part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise"

Tadashi is cold. He’s always cold now, more than he’d ever thought possible. He thought he’d never feel like this again after the fire, its heat searing his skin and filling his nose with the scent of burning flesh and hair. He’d thought he was going to die in that fire, in that heat; the flames stealing the air from his lungs until he’s choking on nothing and he’s collapsing to the ground because he just can’t, _can’t_ move anymore. But now it’s like he’s never known the feeling of warmth. Here there’s nothing but cold metal and chilly silence and the terror of a gun barrel constantly aimed at his back. It’s almost enough to make him wish he was back in the fire. It’s definitely enough to make him wish he _had_ died in it, because death could only be better than his current situation.

HYDRA called it ‘recruiting him’ from the fire. He called it being kidnapped and forced to work on a doomsday device against his will.

HYDRA strongly ‘discourages’ that kind of talk, though. Usually with the butt of a rifle to the head. Or a punch to the stomach. Or a kick to the ribs. Hiro isn’t the only stubborn idiot with a big mouth who couldn’t keep it shut. 

In all honesty, though, most of Tadashi’s back-talk is deliberate. If the HYDRA guards are focused on him, they pay less attention to the other captive scientists in the lab. And considering Tadashi is easily the youngest person here by at least thirty years, he would much rather he be the one collecting the bruises. He’s young and healthy; he can take it. He feels like it’s his responsibility to look out for these people, to protect them, because they can’t protect themselves. It’s what he’s good at.

So every time one of the HYDRA soldiers started looking at one of the other scientists a bit too intently, Tadashi makes a point to break something, or say something, anything that will catch their attention. And after it’s over and the guards have left him lying on the ground, bleeding and bruised, one of the scientists will come over and patch him up and berate him once again for talking back.

When he’s not getting beaten half-to-death for some perceived slight, he’s mostly put to work doing the heavy lifting of the weapon’s construction, and occasionally acting as an aide for the others. Although he’s the only one in the lab with any experience working with carbon fibre as a construction material, the rest of the scientists are all experts in their fields with years of research and study under their belts. Even though Tadashi knows he’s smart, sometimes when he’s listening to them work together he only understands one word in five. If he’d cared enough, he might have wondered why HYDRA had bothered to ‘recruit’ him at all. The others are so out of his league he’s honestly not sure why he’s even there.

He doesn’t care enough though. He doesn’t care why he's here, he just wants to leave. Late at night he lies in his metallic cell with as much of himself wrapped up in his single blanket as possible and dreams up impossible escape attempts. On a good night those thoughts will lull him to sleep, despite the aches of the beatings he endures throughout the day.

He doesn’t have many good nights.

+++

The last time Tadashi had been this nervous while on stage, he’d been showing off his very first Baymax prototype to an assembled panel of SFIT professors all holding clipboards and staring up at him with carefully blank faces. He remembers the way his knees had been shaking, his mouth so incredibly dry as he carefully explained his project and his vision. He hadn’t stopped shaking until Professor Callaghan, _the_ Professor Callaghan, had shaken his hand and told him that he was looking forwards to seeing Tadashi in his class.

This time however, is different, and so much worse. There’s an actual audience staring up at him this time, for one, each face frozen in horror and fear. The rows of HYDRA guards, all armed to the teeth and standing at attention, is also new. As is the HYDRA commander standing at the front of the stage, speaking into the microphone to the horrified crowd of the science convention HYDRA had invaded. Tadashi can’t hear him past a high pitched ringing in his ears, but based on the crowd’s reactions, he’s guessing the commander is revealing exactly what the doomsday device can do. Tadashi doesn’t need to hear him though. He knows exactly what the device can do, in all its horrifying details. Honestly the crowd, if anything, isn’t horrified enough.

He feels nauseous as he helps one of the other scientists, a woman by the name of Judy he believes, moving pieces of the doomsday device into place, all under the watchful guard of a rifle-bearing HYDRA soldier. Judy is sniffling softly, but he can’t bring himself to offer her any words of comfort at this point. He kind of wants to cry too, knowing what will happen the moment the device is turned on. He shudders as the two of them silently move the final piece into place, backing away to huddle along the side of the stage with the other scientists.

Tadashi’s nausea grows as he watched the HYDRA agents checking over the machine, making sure that everything is in place and that nothing has been tampered with. He had wanted to sabotage the device, and had even suggested it to the others once or twice, but they’d all been too scared to try it. Besides, he couldn’t think of any way to tamper with the machine that wouldn’t be immediately noticeable, so he’d given up. It still makes him sick to think that he’d helped build something that was meant to hurt people. He should have found a way to stop it. He should have found a different angle. Even now he’s racking his brains, desperately trying to think of a way to stop this without getting everyone killed.

But just then the HYDRA commander seems to reach the crescendo of his speech, because he throws out his hand towards the device. A soldier nods and flips the switch.

Tadashi’s breath catches in his throat.

The world descends into noise and chaos.

Things happen so quickly it’s like snapshots in Tadashi’s mind. There is the sound of the machine warming up, almost immediately followed by the sound of the crowds screaming. Then, an explosion. Sounds of battle interspersed with gunfire filling the air. A blurred red and white disk spinning through the air and bouncing off of the heads of the HYDRA soldiers, knocking them out. Arrows raining down from the ceiling. A green monster bellowing and ripping up chunks of floor to toss at the advancing foe. The HYDRA guards turning towards them.

Judy’s wide, terrified eyes looking at him, full of tears and determination.

He is suddenly shoved off the side of the stage just before the air is full of bullets and cut-off screams. He lands _hard_ on the ground below, hard enough to jar his shoulder and head and make him black out for a moment.

When he comes to again, it’s quiet. Groaning and clutching at his aching head, Tadashi slowly stumbles to his feet and turns towards the stage.

Almost immediately he turns away again, a hand coming up to slap over his mouth as his nausea returns with a vengeance. Flashes of blood on crisp white lab coats fills his vision even as he looks away, even as he squeezes his eyes shut. He takes deep breaths to fight his way through it, trying to focus on the facts to calm himself down before he can completely lose his mind.

The convention is safe. The Avengers must have come to the rescue. The HYDRA guards are all unconscious or restrained. The crowd of the science convention has been cleared out.

And Tadashi is now the only living person who knows how the doomsday device works.

Feeling dizzy and weak, and knowing he is seconds away from passing out again, Tadashi starts looking for the nearest person he can talk to. He spots a woman in a black bodysuit nearby, her cherry red curls almost hiding the splashes of blood on her cheek, and he immediately heads towards her. Her face is blank as he approaches, barely managing to hold himself together, but she listens intently as he tells her how to shut down and destroy the doomsday device without setting it off or making it explode, and something about her demeanor tells him she can handle this.

Either way, it’s her problem now, because as soon as he finishes telling her what to do he promptly passes the fuck out.

+++

He’s warm when he wakes up, warmer than he’d been in a long while.

At first all he can make out is the familiar setting of a hospital room, the smells and sounds familiar after all of his medical research for Baymax. But then he spots the two men sitting in the chairs next to his bed, one he doesn’t recognize and one he _definitely_ does. That’s _Tony Stark_. _The_ Tony Stark. Even Aunt Cass knows who Tony Stark is, especially with his recent Superhero work, but both he and Hiro have been fans of Stark’s work since before that. The whole ‘childhood robotics prodigy’ thing resonates with them, especially Hiro, a bit too well. But why the hell is _Tony Stark_ sitting in his hospital room? Shouldn’t his family be here? But before he can really start to think about it too hard Stark seems to notice he’s awake. The older man’s face brightens, though there’s a pinched quality to his smile that tells Tadashi that not all is well.

“Hello, and welcome back to the land of the living,” Stark tells him, as the other man offers him a cup of water with a straw.

Once Tadashi’s hydrated and sitting more comfortably he listens intently as Stark starts to explain what happened. How the Avengers had responded to the call of HYDRA activity immediately, breaking in and shutting down the machine before it could be used. How the crowds had been rescued with only minor injuries from the panicked stampeding as they’d fled the convention center. How all of the HYDRA agents present had been captured. How Tadashi was the sole survivor of the scientists they’d captured, the rest having been gunned down once things had gone south.

The unknown man’s expression hardens when Stark mentions that last point, but Tadashi isn’t really paying attention at that point. He’s too stuck on the fact that the entire team of scientists he’d been working with, trapped together with, protecting and helping and bonding with, are all dead. And he’d almost died with them. Judy had saved his life, then, when she’d pushed him out of the way and off the stage. She must have known, must have realized the moment the HYDRA guard turned towards them, what was going to happen to them, and she’d saved him rather than save herself. Even though she probably could have. She’d saved him. After all the times he’d protected them, kept them safe from the HYDRA guard’s wrath, she’d returned the favour. But he’d never get the chance to thank her for that, because she’s dead now. Dead, and here he is, fine and free. He’s free, oh my god he’s _free_.

And suddenly Mr Stark has to stop as Tadashi breaks down sobbing, his mind a whirlwind of pain and guilt and sadness and beautiful, terrible, overwhelming _relief_. He’s _free_. He is alive and _free_.

He doesn’t know how long it takes him to calm down again, but both Mr Stark and the other man wait patiently for him to finish. Any other day Tadashi would be mortified to be seen in such a state by strangers, let alone _Tony Stark_ , but after everything that has happened to him he can’t bring himself to care. Everything is too raw, too much, and he doesn’t have enough space in his mind to care about what others think on top of all the other emotions he’s feeling.

When it’s over, when his little breakdown is finally over, he feels so very empty, like everything has been drained out of him along with his tears.

Once the crying has subsided with only the occasional sniffle, and Tadashi’s face has become carefully blank, Mr Stark continues. He explains that the device has been destroyed with Tadashi’s advice to that woman and that aside from a few scrapes and bruises, most from his time kept prisoner, Tadashi is pretty much ready to go home.

“And that’s when we come to the main problem,” Mr Stark finally admits, leaning forward in his chair intently. “Fun thing about HYDRA, they don’t really let their prisoners hang on to ID or anything like that, so as far as anyone’s concerned at this point, your name is John Doe. Obviously that’s not the case, but we’ve been having a hell of a time trying to identify you on our own, and that’s honestly making me a bit cranky because I hate not knowing things, and when I get cranky I tend to weaponize toasters, which I’m not supposed to do anymore, so tell me, what the heck is your name, kid?”

“Tadashi,” he murmurs, his eyes trained on the bedsheet rather than look into Mr Stark’s intense gaze. “Tadashi Hamada.”

After that there’s a flurry of activity as doctors are called in and charts are updated and tests are run. It all passes by in a blur to Tadashi, who is suddenly _so very tired_. He answers whatever questions are asked, performing the tests as instructed, and sits still as he’s poked and prodded and inspected, knowing that the more he cooperates the sooner it’ll all be over. And that’s all he wants, for it to be over.

At some point during the confusion the unknown man has slipped out of the room, but Tadashi doesn’t know when and honestly doesn’t care. He simply just wants everything to go away so he can finally sleep.

He’s so eager to be done with it all that he doesn’t even pay attention when a set of paperwork is shoved under his nose, simply signing where instructed without reading the pages. He probably should have, however, because almost as soon as he’s finished, he’s being pulled out of the bed by Mr Stark.

Some of his confusion must show on his face, because Mr Stark simply laughs, and hands him a set of clothes. “You just signed your release papers,” the older man explains, shooing Tadashi towards the attached bathroom to change. “The hospital’s pretty busy because of the HYDRA attack, and they need the bed. You’re perfectly fine to leave, so I’m taking you home with me for now.”

If it had been under any other circumstances Tadashi would have probably fainted at the news that he would be going home with _Tony Stark_. As it is, though, he’s too tired to care. So he just wanders off to get changed, ignoring the fact that the clothes he’s been handed are definitely not his own – far too expensive, far too nice, but they still somehow fit perfectly – and returns to Mr Stark’s side without comment. After that he just follows after Mr Stark like a lost puppy, trailing through the hospital and down to the front where a ridiculously expensive car and driver are waiting.

Almost as soon as the car starts moving Tadashi is asleep, his head pressed against the window, visions of fire and blood filling his dreams.

+++

The Avengers Tower is _amazing_. It’s almost enough to break through the haze of shock and depression that has taken over Tadashi’s mind, every room showing off some other new innovation that normally would have left Tadashi drooling. The robotic butler JARVIS alone – and wouldn’t Fred be just _dying_ if he were here to see it – is enough to make Tadashi crack a small smile as the soothing British voice directs him towards a bedroom he can rest in. Mr Stark only follows him as far as the hallway leading towards the rooms before he gets distracted with a phone call, leaving Tadashi to shuffle off to the bedroom alone. Tadashi doesn’t mind though. He kind of wants to be alone for a bit. He falls onto the bed, not even bothering to take off his clothes, and has just enough energy to drag the edge of the comforter over himself before he falls asleep again.

He doesn’t stay that way for long though. He wakes up screaming and sobbing, thrashing to fight off the blanket that has become entangled in his legs. It takes him a moment to realize that someone is talking to him in a soothing voice, and another moment to recognize it as JARVIS. He flushes in embarrassment, but still follows along with JARVIS’ instructions as the program guides him through a few breathing exercises. Once he’s calm enough, he apologizes, ducking his head in shame.

“Not at all, sir,” JARVIS is quick to counter, his voice calm and non-judgemental. “You are not the first to have such nightmares in this tower, and I assure you, you will not be the last.”

Huh. Tadashi guesses JARVIS had a point. Superheroes, especially ones like the Avengers, see their fair share of horrible things, and they probably have similar nightmares. It makes him feel a bit better, though only a bit.

Still, there’s no getting back to sleep now. A quick glance at the bedside clock shows him that it’s now the wee hours of the morning, but Tadashi has kept stranger hours before, especially when working on Baymax. He kicks off the covers, does his best to straighten his rumpled clothes, and heads out of the bedroom. He’s pretty sure he spotted a living space with a TV when they had first arrived, maybe he can watch something until someone else wakes up. Heavens know how much has happened in the world while he was cooped up in a HYDRA facility. He probably has a lot of catching up to do.

But as he walks down the hallway, JARVIS speaks up again.

“Sir has informed me to tell you that if you were to awaken before the morning, you are welcome to join him in his workshop. If you are interested, I can guide you there, Master Hamada.”

“His workshop?” Tadashi perks up. There’s no way he can pass up an opportunity like that, no matter how badly he’s feeling. Hiro would _kill_ him if he ever found out Tadashi had passed up a chance to see Stark’s workshop. Besides, maybe if he’s really careful and polite, Mr Stark will allow him to play with a few robotics pieces while he’s down there. Tinkering has always helped sooth Tadashi’s nerves in the past, made him feel like he was actually accomplishing something instead of just sitting still. His hands are already itching to get a hold of some spare parts and tools.

“Yeah, sure. Why not.”

+++

If the Avengers Tower is amazing, Tony Stark’s workshop is _heaven_. The older man welcomes him in with open arms, insisting that Tadashi call him Tony, and then immediately starts showing off his latest projects with the air of a kid at show and tell. It’s not exactly the level of professionalism that Tadashi expects from a brilliant inventor slash former CEO of a billion-dollar company slash superhero, but honestly his enthusiasm is exactly the distraction Tadashi needs at the moment. It reminds him of Hiro enough that his chest aches a bit. He can’t wait to tell his little brother all about this, but before he can finish the thought Tony is dragging him off to look at yet another impossibly complex device that could change the world.

By the time another person peeks into the lab to see what they’re up to, Tadashi is deep in an animated discussion with Tony about the applications of repulsor technology versus regular rockets for propulsion.

Or rather, Tadashi is recounting the story of the time Hiro had stuck rocket boots on the cat, and Tony is howling with laughter.

“…and so I wake up, and mind you this was right after a major project where I’d been pulling all nighters for a week, I wake up and the _cat_ is looking down at me from like three feet in the air above my head and I can hear Hiro laughing maniacally somewhere nearby but all I can think is that there’s a rocket-powered cat coming at my face and I’m going to _die_ ,” Tadashi finishes his story, and though Tony is laughing so hard at this point that Tadashi’s not sure he heard the ending, it’s enough to bring a smile to Tadashi’s face.

Just then he notices the newcomer entering the workspace, a shorter, mousy-looking man with dark curls and glasses, who’s eyes are darting around the space like he’s looking for a sudden attack. But when the man catches sight of Tony practically falling out of his chair, he relaxes a bit, a smile growing on his face.

“Hello there,” the man greets, waving at Tadashi as he starts heading towards them from across the lab space. “You must be Mr. Hamada, right? How are you feeling?”

Tadashi hesitates for a moment, because he hates lying but at the same time he’d rather not admit how he really feels. It seems shameful to admit how horrible he feels when people are _dead_ and he’s not. However something about the man’s behaviour and expression tells him that no matter what he says this man will understand him. So finally he admits the truth, albeit an abridged version. “Not all that great. Can’t sleep.”

The man still nods in understanding. He comes up to them and leans into Tony’s space like they’re old friends, and holds out his hand to shake. “I’m Doctor Bruce Banner. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tadashi.”

“Likewise, sir,” Tadashi agrees with a grin, and the two shake hands even as Tony coos about the magic of friendship. Without looking, Bruce reaches out and smacks Tony upside the head, making the inventor laugh.

“Well!” Tony abruptly jumps up and claps his hands, making Tadashi jolt at the sudden movement. “Now that the science gang’s all here, why don’t we have some fun?”

Tadashi and Bruce share a look as Tony grabs them both by the arms and drags them deeper into his workshop, rambling about a new project the whole way.

+++

Tony reveals somewhere in between long rants about robotics that the second man in Tadashi’s hospital room was Steve Rogers AKA Captain America, which leaves Tadashi stunned for a moment, but when Bruce reveals that he’s actually the Hulk, it finally dawns on Tadashi that’s he’s in the Avengers Tower and thus naturally these people are the Avengers. So when the Captain returns to the tower with some new people in tow, Tadashi has already gotten past the shock of actually spending time with superheroes and is so deeply immersed in helping Tony with fixing up one of the lab’s helper bots that he doesn’t even notice the new arrivals.

He’s not completely sure that Tony’s not messing with him when he claims the bot’s actual designation is Dum-E, but either way he’s having a blast working on improving Dum-E’s chassis. Something about the helper bot’s personality is reminding him very strongly of Baymax, and he’s half tempted to ask Tony if he can borrow Dum-E for a bit after all of this so he can introduce the two.

He’s vaguely aware of the door to the workshop opening and JARVIS announcing the Captain’s arrival, but before he can turn to look towards the newcomers he suddenly loses his grip on the wrench he was using to tighten a bolt, and stumbles backwards into one of the workbenches. His elbow collides with the collection of junk on the surface and knocks everything down with a spill of papers and documents and the sound of shattering glass as one of the ubiquitous coffee cups scattered around the lab smashes on the floor.

Almost immediately both Bruce and Tony are rushing towards him, drawn by the sound of the broken mug, and automatically Tadashi throws his hands over his head and cowers.

“I’m sorry!” he shouts, eyes squeezed shut as he instinctively braces himself for a blow. “I’m sorry! I’ll clean it up right away! I’m sorry!”

There is a pregnant pause. When no one starts yelling at him or beating him, Tadashi slowly lowers his arms, revealing both Tony and Bruce watching him with pained expressions. Neither of them seems willing to approach him any closer than they already have, leaving them almost comically frozen in mid motion as they’d run towards him. Privately Tadashi is glad. His heart rate is way too high for just a simple stumble, and he’s trembling a bit.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats again, with much less desperation, his gaze dropping to the ground in sudden shame. They had only been trying to help, why had he reacted like that? What had he been thinking? “If you show me where the broom is, I can clean this up.”

“Broom? What, sweep it up like a peasant?” Tony scoffs at him, trying to break the sudden tension of the room. “Nah, don’t worry about it. The Roomba’s will get it later. Just leave it.”

Tadashi wants to object, but just then Captain America, who has been standing in the doorway this whole time, clears his throat to catch everyone’s attention. Tadashi glances over, ready to meet yet another one of the Avengers, when a short figure with a thick mop of black hair suddenly darts out from behind the Captain and rushes forward, practically throwing himself across the lab in his haste.

“Tadashi!” Hiro screams, “ _Tadashi!_ ”

“Oh god, _Hiro?!_ ” Tadashi chokes out, and that’s all the time he has before his little brother is launching himself into Tadashi’s arms. They fall backward with the impact, but Tony’s helper bot is there to catch them with its strong arm, bracing them so that they don’t hit the floor and the mess of papers and glass Tadashi has created. Tadashi doesn’t care though. He’s too caught up with wrapping his arms around Hiro as tightly as they can go and burying his face in his little brother’s shoulder. He’s absolutely shaking with heavy sobs, clutching at Hiro like a lifeline, completely falling apart in front of Hiro and Tony Stark and Bruce and Captain America and whoever else is here, but he can’t bring himself to care. Besides, Hiro is crying and clutching at him almost as hard.

There’s crying and screaming and laughing and so many tears but for the first time since the fire Tadashi almost feels _safe_ again.

+++

He goes home after that. Tony sends him off with a collection of tools and robotics parts and a promise to hire him the moment he finishes his degree, grinning and waving and ruffling his hair like Tadashi is the younger brother for once. Bruce pulls him aside and recommends a few books and resources Tadashi might want to look up when he gets home, which Tadashi dutifully records, and then offers him another handshake. They share tight smiles, and Tadashi can’t help but feel like he’s met something of a kindred spirit, or at least someone who understands him. Then he’s leaving the Avengers Tower, Hiro’s hand clutched in his own as Captain America, or Steve rather, leads them down towards the Avengers personal Quinjet to take them home. Tadashi hasn’t let go of Hiro since they’d been reunited, either clutching his hand or shoulder or resting a hand in Hiro’s hair, but thankfully no one had commented.

Hiro hadn’t come alone to pick Tadashi up. He’s a bit surprised to see all of his friends there, and even more surprised to see Baymax waddling along after them, but he’s also ridiculously grateful. They each welcome him back in their own way, either through hugs or pats on the back or in GoGo’s case a harsh punch to the shoulder. She almost immediately gets reprimanded by the rest of the group, but Tadashi laughs it off. As much as the punch hurt, and as much as it leaves him shaky and flinching, it’s a touch of normalcy that he desperately craves. They surround him in a circle as Hiro guides him up the ramp of the Quinjet by the hand, and fill the air with laughter and stories to keep the mood light.

The red haired woman from before is sitting in the pilot’s seat when they board, and she nods to him as the group takes their seats. He respectfully nods back.

Hiro and the others distract him throughout the flight home by telling him about how Steve had come to tell them about Tadashi’s survival. Apparently he had arrived at the Café just as the group was meeting up to pick Hiro up for class, and therefore had been able to tell them all at once. Aunt Cass had needed to stay behind to run the Café, especially since the arrival of _Captain America_ had brought in a few more customers than usual, but she had wanted to come along to see him as well. She’d also apparently been so upset when Steve had first told her Tadashi was alive, refusing to believe it, that she’d thrown coffee in his face. Thankfully it had been cold coffee, but Tadashi still can’t help but laugh along as Fred mimes the event. In the co-pilot’s seat Steve rolls his eyes, even as the red haired lady chuckles at him.

Tadashi falls asleep at one point during the ride, and doesn’t wake again until after they’ve landed. He comes to in Baymax’s arms as the soft balloon-like robot carries him out of the jet and trails after Hiro and the others. As they pass by Steve and the lady, Tadashi waves at them, too tired to give them a proper goodbye, but they simply wave back with a smile.

Safe in his robot’s arms, Tadashi falls back asleep, lulled by the familiar sounds of the city he’d never wanted to leave.

+++

He wakes up screaming more nights than not.

Bedsheets are like a paradox to him. They keep him warm, but often leave him feeling trapped and restrained. He often wakes up kicking and screaming, shaking at whatever nightmares plague him this particular night. He ends up gripping his hair tightly enough to almost pull it out, rocking back and forth and trying not to cry. He’s very rarely successful.

He is both so very grateful and at the same time dismayed on these nights that Hiro and he share a bedroom. He tries his best not to make too much noise, but somehow Hiro always hears him. Usually a few minutes after Tadashi’s woken up, just long enough for him to calm down and realize he’s no longer a HYDRA prisoner, Hiro will come padding across the room on bare feet and slip around the divider that still separates their individual spaces and slip into bed with him. Neither of them speaks, they just quietly shuffle around until they’re wrapped around each other, Tadashi’s arms around Hiro’s middle and his younger brother’s small hands gently carding through his hair.

Hiro never points out that Tadashi can’t sleep alone anymore and Tadashi never mentions that Hiro is always already awake when the nightmares come.

On the really bad nights Tadashi manages to activate Baymax, who helps by playing white noise from his speakers and running his heat generator so that Tadashi can sleep without the blankets. The robot thankfully has enough tact by now to know that his usual commentary would be unwelcome, and so he stays silent during these times.

Tadashi has become very jittery around loud noises, always flinching whenever someone raises their voice or jumping if someone drops something. Baymax has been invaluable in calming him down whenever a panic attack starts to set in. It’s hard to be afraid of HYDRA agents coming to attack you when you’re currently being hugged by a warm marshmallow. Tadashi never imagined when he built Baymax that _he_ would be one of the people that the nurse robot would be helping, but he’s very pleased with his invention regardless. Hiro has obviously put some work into Baymax as well and it shows. Still, he wishes it wasn’t necessary. Baymax should be helping others, helping the sick and injured, not be stuck home taking care of him. He does his best to get over the panic attacks as fast as he can on his own, hoping that soon he won’t need Baymax anymore, and his robot can go on to fulfilling his purpose the way Tadashi originally intended.

His friends have helped as well in their own ways. There’s a lot of catching up to do – coming back from the dead apparently involves a lot of paperwork and blood tests, not to mention all of the homework he’s missed out on – but he’s slowly getting back into the swing of things with their support (and a generous scholarship from a certain robotics genius slash superhero who shall remain nameless). His days are slowly getting better.

But the night is not. The nightmares don’t stop, and part of Tadashi is always afraid.

It finally comes to a head one night, about five months since he’s been rescued and brought home. He’s had yet another screaming nightmare, one bad enough to activate Baymax, and he and Hiro are cuddling in his bed again, his little brother shushing him gently as Tadashi tries to stop trembling. They have been lying there long enough that Tadashi is just starting to fall asleep again when Hiro suddenly speaks.

“Tadashi?” Hiro says softly, his fingers still running through Tadashi’s hair.

Caught off guard by the change from their usual silence, Tadashi takes a moment to respond. “Yeah?” he replies, his voice still rough from screaming.

“You know I’m not going to let anything happen to you ever again, right?”

Tadashi huffs softly, still feeling very off-balance and wondering where all of this is coming from. He’s never heard Hiro sound so...mature. “Isn’t that supposed to be my job?”

To his surprise, Hiro’s voice grows harder, and his hand stills on Tadashi’s head. “No. No it’s not. Not anymore.”

Tadashi flinches, hurt by the statement, but before he can respond, Hiro is continuing. “You were always watching out for me, always protecting me and others, and look where it got you. Look at what happened. You’ve been through enough, Tadashi. It’s time you put yourself first for once. It’s _my_ turn to watch out for _you_.”

Tadashi hides his wince in his hands, Hiro’s words leaving him feeling inexplicably guilty. This wasn’t right. He’s supposed to be the one Hiro could come to when he was scared, he’s supposed to be the strong one. He’s the big brother. “That’s not how it’s supposed to –”

“I don’t _care_ ,” Hiro hisses angrily, cutting him off. “I don’t care if that’s not how you think it’s supposed to work. You were always putting me first, putting others first. You wanted to help, people, and I get that, but you always forgot about helping yourself too. You never thought that _you_ needed the help. And I never realized that. I never noticed that you always took care of me before yourself because I...because I was _selfish_ , because I didn’t pay attention, I never paid attention! But you know what? I know now. I’m paying attention now. I know now that you keep ignoring your own needs over others and it needs to stop. For once, we’re going to put _you_ first. We’re going to take care of _you_.”

Hiro pauses for a moment as his breath hitches, and Tadashi can tell he’s starting to cry, but Hiro continues regardless.

“You don’t have to protect me anymore, Tadashi, I can protect myself. I…I’ve been busy while you were…gone. I’ve learned to take care of myself.” Hiro pauses at the reminder of Tadashi’s year of absence, the memory of that missing time hitting him like a blow, but then he takes a deep breath and continues. “I want to protect you from now on. _I_ want to be the one looking out for you, putting you first. I want to keep you safe. I’m _going_ to keep you safe. You’ve always looked out for me, now it’s time for me to return the favour. Can you let me do that? Can you trust me to look out for you for once?”

Hiro presses a kiss to the top of Tadashi’s head. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore, Tadashi. You don’t have to be the one suffering. I’ve got you. You’re safe now. You’re _safe_. Please believe me. Please trust me.”

And god help him, his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing still shaky from nightmares, Tadashi does.

+++

Three months later when Tadashi finally manages to go a full week without any nightmares, he wakes up feeling ridiculously proud of himself, with Hiro’s pleased grin as a reward. Things are finally improving, Tadashi is finally starting to recover, with his brother and his friends with him to fall back on. He’s safe and cared for.

He’s going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Additional fun facts about this story that didn't make it in:
> 
> -Because Tadashi is the only living person that knows how that Doomsday Device works and how to build it, he gets kidnapped a lot, and the BH6 have to rescue him. It happens often enough that he’s basically become the BH6’s Lois Lane. At first these kidnappings are really traumatizing for him and Hiro and everyone, but then it just keeps happening and the people who do it are just so incompetent that he’s less traumatized each time and more annoyed. Eventually he gets so fed up with the kidnappings that he threatens to build the damn Doomsday Device himself and use it on anyone who tries to kidnap him again. It stops after that :)
> 
> -Tony has Tadashi and Hiro over to the tower pretty often, especially when he realizes he and Hiro can start talking armours and superhero stuff. Both brothers end up becoming good friends with all of the Avengers, and the two teams occasionally team up whenever the Avengers are down near San Fransokyo.
> 
> -Krei Tech is the main source of income supporting the BH6 after they rescued him, with Fred’s personal resources to pick up the slack if needed, but Tony gets involved too and then the BH6 team is never hurting for money again.
> 
> -Fred suggested Tadashi should join the BH6 only once, and Hiro punched him so hard he lost a tooth. They got over it and became friends again, but no one ever brings up Tadashi joining them again.
> 
> -Bruce kind of becomes Tadashi’s therapist, often suggesting calming techniques and things he can try to relax. They call each other up at least once a week to just chat, sometimes more if one of them has had an ‘episode’
> 
> -Natasha also helps Tadashi recover by offering to train him in hand to hand combat, so that he can defend himself if anything ever happens again. Steve and Hawkeye get in on it too. It does wonders for both Tadashi and Hiro’s peace of mind, knowing that Tadashi can defend himself if need be.
> 
> -Tadashi is totally going to end up working for Stark Industries once he graduates. Tony hasn’t told him yet, but he basically had Pepper draw up the paperwork the moment Tadashi started fixing up Dum-E without any help. Pepper has also drawn up a list of helpful tips for surviving working with Tony Stark that she thinks Tadashi will find useful
> 
> -After the story breaks on the local news, the entire city of San Fransokyo becomes _VERY_ anti-HYDRA, as they’re all really fond of their superheroes, and pretty much the whole city was heartbroken by the story. Even local gang members will chase HYDRA members out of the city if they find them.
> 
> -Baymax and Dum-E do eventually meet, and become bros. Baymax teaches Dum-E how to fistbump, and now all of Tony’s helper bots are constantly doing it. Tony would be pissed if he didn’t find it so funny.
> 
> -Aunt Cass will never live down the time she threw coffee at Captain America. Never.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Avenged](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3199970) by [The_Lord_of_Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lord_of_Chaos/pseuds/The_Lord_of_Chaos)




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